Latest Entries »

Embracing 5am

5:00am est…The house is still. The only sounds I hear are from outside and the white noise of the baby monitor waiting on the baby to stir. It is peaceful. It is the only time of day when I can take very deep calm breaths. I can collect all of my thoughts. I can organize. I mentally prepare for the day. Because at 6am…

“Good morning Mom! Im thirsty! Im hungry! I need to tell you about my dream! I have to potty!”

Make breakfast

Walk the dog

Feed the fish

Get everyone dressed for school

Brush everyone’s teeth

Pack a lunch

Make time for random requests & questions: “Please put your shoes on. Brush your teeth, not the dog, Why are you naked? Please get the food off of the floor. Don’t hit each other. Get out of the bathtub. Did you miss the toilet completely? Go get an injury ice pack. The sippie cup isn’t a sprinkler.” Etc etc. 6am is GO time. And from there it doesn’t slow down again until 9pm.

But, it’s fun. It’s a rush. It’s things I would never wish to replace or miss. Our life is busy and full and exciting. Every day we learn and experience and push our imaginations to the max. We laugh, dance, sing & play the hours away. Every night when we lay down we are tired and happy. And I wait to exhale until 5am rolls around again.

If your day comes to a close and you are not satisfied just think…what else could you have done with your time?



Lost and Found

With the tragic events from the past few weeks I have found myself surrounded by doubt, confusion, guilt, sadness and I have a very empty place in my heart. We lost a loved one to an overdose on Friday the 8th. As a nation we lost precious innocent children because of a crazed killer on Friday the 15th. There were horrific events in between those episodes that lead me to now question the sanity of each person I pass.

The news is on every tv station, every radio station, every newspaper, every website and it is being discussed in every household. If absurd amounts of attention are what these murderers were after, they have achieved their goal. The media disgusts me. They are first on the scene to see if they can get a glimpse of the gruesome setting, they shove their cameras into the faces of the heartbroken parents, interview the shocked children and turn the crime into a circus. They dig for information that hasn’t been released yet and the way they recite the details makes it seem as if they lack the ability to feel. If the shooter had lived, he would probably be flipping through the channels absolutely giddy with his newfound fame.

What can we blame these incidents on??? God, mental illness, drugs, a disturbed childhood…We all race to point a finger, but the question is when we will stop to face reality. Have you ever stopped to think maybe WE are to blame? When is the last time you prayed, donated to a charity, smiled at a stranger, went out of your way to help someone, studied to understand a mental illness, talked to a child about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, reported child abuse, stopped to pay close attention to someone other than yourself…WHEN? If you can name a date, how often do you do these things? GOOD DEEDS SHOULD BE PART OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE.

There’s the constant question “Am I raising my child like I should?” Each parent believes their child is beautiful and perfect. As a parent, I believe my child came straight from heaven and is an angel. But, as parents we must also never be too proud to admit when there may be a problem. If you notice behavior/temperament issues, it is our responsibility to address it instead of pushing it under the rug in hopes that it will disappear. Small issues may manifest into things we could never fathom. Mental illnesses do not heal themselves, so when you seek help you are doing the right thing.


I usually do not get involved in politics, world events, etc. because it’s like meddling with religious views, but this one has been the new trending topic lately, a friend asked me to blog about it and I want to hear your thoughts….

First, take a moment to educate yourself on who Joseph Kony is, what he is, what his group LRA (Lords Resistance Army) has done:

The rebel group is notorious for murder, torture, mutilation, rape, widespread abductions of children and adults, and pillaging.

Activists succeeded in getting Obama in October to dispatch 100 US-Special Forces soldiers to assist region militaries fighting the LRA. But 100 vs thousands isn’t enough to make a ripple in the water.

The numbers of abducted children range from 30-60k + and the boys are being used as kadogo (war soldiers) and the girls are being used as porters and sex slaves. 

The Youtube video has been viewed 21 million times and the numbers continue to soar, but the real question is….Many will watch, but how many will actually DO something about what they have seen? Do people actually care or are they just re-posting the pics and videos because its the current trend? Has the info gone viral because its the Facebook/Twitter norm to click “share” on videos/photos?

Even if you aren’t going to do anything for the babies in Uganda after reading this, it should still make you think about your own lives. As much as we may complain at least our babies aren’t starving, being raped, beaten, forced on the front lines and terrified. Most of us have healthy happy children we kiss and tuck safely into bed each night. We don’t work in sweat shops for pennies a day. We don’t step over dead bodies in the streets on the way to our jobs. We don’t have soldiers with machine guns outside our doors. Be appreciative. Even if you aren’t religious, you should be thankful that you are in this country.

The one that got away…

We’ve all loved, we’ve all lost. It’s a very rare thing these days to find the love of your life right away. Most of us have “one that got away”. The question is, is it possible to delete that person from your mind and find that kind of love again? Or, will you spend the remainder of your life wondering where that person is, how things could have been, comparing new relationships to that one…..

I got engaged at 19 and I was way too young. We were both very immature and inexperienced. It was the first serious relationship for both of us. We met in college. He was going into the Air Force and I was having a very hard time forcing myself to want to leave my family behind, not pursue my career and travel the globe to be a military wife. We ended it shortly before our wedding date and went our separate ways.

Shortly after I met the love of my life. My army ranger. Its kind of funny how we met. His best friend and roommate came into a store I was working at and asked me out on a date. We didn’t really hit it off, but through him I was able to meet my angel. He was awesome. Sweet, tough, country….and my family loved him. Dad made him cry with his spicy deer jerky and he taught Kyle how to drop the f-bomb while playing a deer hunting game, but….he was still a winner in their eyes. I never thought talking about guns, rucksacks, MREs and woobies could be so entertaining 🙂 He is the one who gave me the BEST Christmas present ever. There is nothing better than waking up to the one you love on Christmas morning. Unfortunately his parents lived 14 hours away in Oklahoma and he had to spend Christmas with them. I of course stayed here with my family. Christmas morning I woke up sad and alone and the day went slowly along. Our family dinner was at 5pm and I tried to stay busy around the house to pass the time. He called me a couple of hours before the dinner and it really brightened my day. As I had him on the phone I heard a knock at my door. When I opened it, I got the biggest suprise…he was there! He had spent Christmas Eve with his family and got up super early to drive 14 hours back to spend Christmas with me. Sweetest moment ever.

Unfortunately it was a time in my life when I was a total idiot, was rebellious and didn’t know which direction I wanted to go in…and because of that, I lost him. I moved to South Florida chasing some bad boy and he went back home to Oklahoma and married his high school sweetheart…

A few years ago when I was living downtown I got a random Myspace invite from him and it felt like a firework went off in my heart. I was incredibly excited and all I could think about was a second chance to make everything perfect. I was going to put his butt on a plane asap and make room in my closet and ta-da!!!! Happily Ever After! But, as luck would have it he was hundreds of miles away, going through a divorce, children were involved and things were really messy. Perfection was well beyond reach. So, I had to let go….

Even though it was years ago I still find myself thinking about him. When I think of the military, when I go anywhere near Dahlonega, Christmas Day, when I meet someone newThe movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind really makes me think. Would it be better to permanently delete certain memories so you can completely move on?

From 2010-2012 my life has done a complete 360. Used to be late nights out at the club, drinking, listening to music at max volume in the car, blowing money, focused completely on myself and was totally careless. Now its nights in bed by 9pm, no drinking, listening to kiddie music at volume 10, planning where every penny will go and my world revolves around an adorable little person. You never know what love really is until you become a parent.

Things that change:

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body … finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby’s pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

To all of the people who are parents and take the position seriously I applaud you. To the single parents, you know you have my full support because it is extremely difficult. To the people who are parents and are still out partying, drinking, cursing and raising heck….you might want to rethink your actions. Those little eyes are always watching and learning. Be a role model. You can still be a cool parent by being decent.

My boyfriends back???

ImageAfter spending numerous hours watching friends fall to pieces over an ex, here lies the question of the day….Is it ever a good idea to rekindle things with an ex?

An ex becomes an ex for a reason. Before you think about lighting the fire of doom again think about the reasons you didn’t like that person. Their attitude, poor work ethic, cheating, language, habits, etc. Are you really able to put the past completely behind you and start fresh or will the past hang around in the back of your mind and nag at you daily? If your significant other cheated, will you ever be able to trust them when they are out alone? If there were physical problems will you ever be able to regain your self-confidence? Do not try to bury the problem because I assure you it will come out full force if an arguement starts. And goodness if there are children involved, do NOT drag them through the agony too.

One of your previous significant others whom you’ve had a relation-shit, and coincidentally, a break up with. In most cases, not someone you ever want to see again. In very VERY rare cases, someone you might still talk to and consider a friend, because you both have a history and too many experiences to forget about together and are both mature enough to push any emotions you have left (if any), aside.

Love is about finding true happiness that lasts. No where in a love story do you hear about either character having to settle. There is no need to settle. There are millions of fish in the sea and unless you’re a hermit, chances are you will run into someone new! Ladies, go buy a new sexy matching bra/panty set, put on a shade of lipstick you’ve never tried, sport some 5″ heels and smile. Guys, might be time to invest in that new cologne everyones been talking about, spend 2 minutes getting your hair just right and do a few extra reps in the gym. Get to feeling good about yourself and that attitude goes a long way and will get you the extra attention you’re after! No more crying over spilled milk!

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, ‘that’s her.’”

Don’t be a rabbit in the lions den

Today’s topic is about being a female in a male dominated business and what it takes to be successful as a manager. The battle of the sexes is as old as the hills. Being a female manager just adds icing to the cake 🙂

I’m going to start this off by being rather blunt. To make it in the business world, you’ve got to have bigger balls than they do. Don’t ever let them see you sweat, don’t back down, don’t get riled up, don’t take no for an answer and most of all don’t take crap from anyone. If you’re weak, you might as well be an injured rabbit in a lion’s den…you’re going down fast. Bring out your Type A personality and rock with it!

You’ve got to learn how to ninja their brains. Take lots of deep breaths. Enroll in an intense kickboxing class after work to get the stress out.  Also learn that there is a very fine art to killing them with kindness. You need to realize that not everyone in the world will want to see you succeed. There are barnacles out there who will enjoy watching you fail. Do not give them the satisfaction. When you’re on top of the ladder look down to them and wave. Throw them a few crumbs. Keep smiling!

Have a confrontation? Take time to think through a situation before acting on it. There may be more to the story that you are seeing. Your co-workers are more than just minions. They can also be considered your extended family. Most of us spend more time with our co-workers than we do with our blood relatives. Take off your managerial hat and take time to get to know the people you are working with. Knowing their strengths, hot buttons, weaknesses and stresses from outside of work may help considerably.

I’ve been in management since I was 21 and when I first started out it was very hard. I was a green pea coming in and telling people twice my age how to do it, when to do it and excusing them when they couldn’t do it. Now with 7 years of experience under my belt, I believe the difference in my style is that I’m never going be the typical corporate turd. I put my heart into my work. I have never once had to act inappropriately to get what I want out of anything and I will not. I will earn my success by proving my worth. I’m the manager who goes around motioning for my sales team to smile, giving them a thumbs up, pats on the back, pep talks. If your team doesn’t come out of a meeting pumped and ready to tackle the day, then you need to go back in and try it again. Manager= motivator. Small words of encouragement go a LONG way and having a good attitude in front of a potential customer is a must. You must view every person as a potential customer! Every meeting is an opportunity. First impressions are the most important and last a lifetime.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”-Marianne Williamson


Have a great weekend everyone!

Define “Beautiful”

I chose this top to cover first because it’s something I feel so strongly about. Every day I see people judging, pre-qualifying, discriminating, bullying…and it infuriates me.

Never judge someone based on their appearance. Do not treat them differently just because they look different. Every person has a heart that beats and a heart that breaks.

Tattoos: Expressions placed on the skin to represent who you are, a time, a place. Just as a photo freezes time and holds onto the memory, so does a tattoo. The number of tattoos you have or the placement of them should not affect how society views you as a person. I’ve gotten a few turned up noses when I show my shoulder tattoo at ritzy places, but those people who judge need to realize that times have changed and I can be just as classy sporting my ink and my exterior doesn’t even do justice to describe what is in my heart. “My body is a journal in a way. It’s like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist.” —- Johnny Depp

Weight: From a size 0 to a size 40, we are all beautiful. Our exterior is just merely a shell that protects what lies within. There is no perfect size. Beautiful is healthy, curves, smiles, personality, self-confidence. For the people who will leave a significant other because of weight gain, shame on you. Your goal should be to help everyone be healthy. Coach people on how to eat well, exercise well, live well. “Ideal teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross, then having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own.” — Nikos Kazantzakis

Disability: God’s way of saying, “you’re unique, you’re special, you’re strong.” To the corporate guy who flaunts his money, his success, his fancy car…take a step back and think about what a person with a disability faces daily. Can you look death eye to eye and not flinch? Can you take handfuls of medications and treatments daily that make you sick and still keep smiling? Can you hear and see people making fun of something they do not understand and still stay strong? Instead of spending time on the golf course, volunteer at a children’s hospital. Open your eyes to the world.”The moral test of government is how it treats those who are in the dawn of life . . . the children; those who are in the twilight of life . . . the elderly; and those who are in the shadow of life . . . the sick . . . the needy . . . and the disabled.” – Hubert H. Humphrey

 Feel free to provide feedback!!!  Also, if you have a subject you want me to cover leave a comment and let me know.

Next subject: Being a female manager in a male dominated profession.

Welcome to my world!

So, here it is my loyal minions!…..A portal into my crazy mind.

My first entry is just an intro so don’t expect awesomeness just yet. Wait for it….. : )

I’m a 29 year old single mom of an amazing little one year old boy, work a full time job as an Internet sales manager at a car dealership and handle my business on my own! I love my life and do not regret a single thing. Everything worked out exactly as it should have and it is true that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. My experiences have made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. When days are hard, my son is my sunshine.

When I was very young I started writing. I figured out the best way to vent is through your words. Even though they often go unspoken, they are in some way out there for the world to see. When the words flow the weight is lifted. From this came stories, songs, poems…and I have been told by many that my words are inspirational. So, now I will begin to share those words with you. Enjoy 🙂