We’ve all loved, we’ve all lost. It’s a very rare thing these days to find the love of your life right away. Most of us have “one that got away”. The question is, is it possible to delete that person from your mind and find that kind of love again? Or, will you spend the remainder of your life wondering where that person is, how things could have been, comparing new relationships to that one…..

I got engaged at 19 and I was way too young. We were both very immature and inexperienced. It was the first serious relationship for both of us. We met in college. He was going into the Air Force and I was having a very hard time forcing myself to want to leave my family behind, not pursue my career and travel the globe to be a military wife. We ended it shortly before our wedding date and went our separate ways.

Shortly after I met the love of my life. My army ranger. Its kind of funny how we met. His best friend and roommate came into a store I was working at and asked me out on a date. We didn’t really hit it off, but through him I was able to meet my angel. He was awesome. Sweet, tough, country….and my family loved him. Dad made him cry with his spicy deer jerky and he taught Kyle how to drop the f-bomb while playing a deer hunting game, but….he was still a winner in their eyes. I never thought talking about guns, rucksacks, MREs and woobies could be so entertaining 🙂 He is the one who gave me the BEST Christmas present ever. There is nothing better than waking up to the one you love on Christmas morning. Unfortunately his parents lived 14 hours away in Oklahoma and he had to spend Christmas with them. I of course stayed here with my family. Christmas morning I woke up sad and alone and the day went slowly along. Our family dinner was at 5pm and I tried to stay busy around the house to pass the time. He called me a couple of hours before the dinner and it really brightened my day. As I had him on the phone I heard a knock at my door. When I opened it, I got the biggest suprise…he was there! He had spent Christmas Eve with his family and got up super early to drive 14 hours back to spend Christmas with me. Sweetest moment ever.

Unfortunately it was a time in my life when I was a total idiot, was rebellious and didn’t know which direction I wanted to go in…and because of that, I lost him. I moved to South Florida chasing some bad boy and he went back home to Oklahoma and married his high school sweetheart…

A few years ago when I was living downtown I got a random Myspace invite from him and it felt like a firework went off in my heart. I was incredibly excited and all I could think about was a second chance to make everything perfect. I was going to put his butt on a plane asap and make room in my closet and ta-da!!!! Happily Ever After! But, as luck would have it he was hundreds of miles away, going through a divorce, children were involved and things were really messy. Perfection was well beyond reach. So, I had to let go….

Even though it was years ago I still find myself thinking about him. When I think of the military, when I go anywhere near Dahlonega, Christmas Day, when I meet someone new…The movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind really makes me think. Would it be better to permanently delete certain memories so you can completely move on?